Depression sucks. But French, now French is awesome.
Before, in my past life (so to speak), I had taken seven and
a half years of French.
When I got into college I started over at French I due to
poor teaching in the years before (pretty typical story, we watched Adam
Sandler movies w French subtitles in our French IV class). I was lucky enough
to have a phenomenal teacher my first two semesters (which are basically high school
French on steroids, where one semester equals one year of French at the high school
level) and in French III my teacher was wonderful as well.
As fate would have it, just as I was reaching the very end
of French III and really latching onto the language, depression struck.
So here I am, however many months, however many hours of
exhausted and dream tormented sleep, however many re-watches of The Emperors New Grove and Tarzan later, sitting on the carpeted
floor in my office surrounded by pillows, two notebooks, tons of papers, and a
few massive French books and (lets not forget the bowl of popcorn and my trusty
Dr. Pepper) I am in a bubble of complete and simple happiness.
I wont attempt at the moment to explain the way clinical
depression literally zaps yours brain (and seeing as by the time I got
diagnosed by brain was already pretty fried so…you get the picture) but what I
will say is that because of it I am now re discovering French in an entirely
new light.
I am really only into a few minutes of studying and already
I feel this cool wave of joy rushing through my brain. I am saying these French
words in my head, I know what they mean, and I am telling myself “Christina all
you are really saying are grammatical terms, technically all you just said is
‘Past Tense’ in French (Passé Composé)” but still I am simply ecstatic.
I am finding myself getting lost in the flow of the words,
the accents, the rhythm of this language that, like an old friend who has been
missing for too long, has finally come back.
“Toutes les temps pour
l’examen”
I write at the top of my yellow legal pad.
I don’t even care if its spelled 100% correct with the right
accents or the write grammatical positioning. Who cares?! I don’t! Look at it,
its beautiful!!
(By the way, literally all that phrase says is ‘All the
tenses for the exam’….I know, riveting, right?!).
Hell, I’m even happy to see all ten tenses that I am going
to have to re learn and rememorize and re conjugate in!
I am looking around me and French words are everywhere, I
feel like I should be eating un pain du chocolate and walking around Le Tour
Eiffel listening to French music and chasing butterflies! Ok, maybe not the
butterfly part but hey, I’m in France, in the middle of Paris, why the hell
not? Butterflies come at me!
Regardless of whether or not I am chasing butterflies in my
fantasized French world, all I can say is that it feels amazing to be
surrounded by French again. And the sheer fact that it feels such is not only a
huge relief, but an enormous blessing as well.
I don’t care if you’ve never spoken a word of French in your
life or not, make it your goal to say some French words today! Marvel in the
wonders and mysteries (and challenges) of another language. Embrace the fact
that it does NOT sound like English (and if it does you’re saying it wrong ;).
Language is a beautiful thing, it opens doors to other cultures, other people,
other experiences, and most important of all, it opens beautiful doors into
ourselves.
So, go chase some pretty French butterflies and be thankful
your brain is fully functional and not having to re boot itself like mine…..
Actually, now that I think about it, this is a pretty
awesome experience. After all, I would have never approached studying like this
before…maybe it’s not so bad getting a fresh start after all.
Enjoy your brain, embrace this world, and have fun!!
Keep on truckin’
C.M.S
***** By the way, if you would like to leave comments (which
I would love to receive) and you do not have a Google account please choose “Anonymous”
under the drop list that appears under your comment box before you post, and
then just leave your name in your comment.
This is the easiest way I know how for people to comment, if
anyone knows otherwise please, please let me know! Hang in there with me, I am
still new at this!
And of course, thanks for stopping by, and stay classy San
Diego! (yes, I am very excited for Anchorman 2)
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